It's hard not having any control over a future you so desperately want to realize. We maintain our Facebook & Pinterest pages, pay the bill for our 1-800 number so a birthmother can call us anytime, we check our adoption email and blog intermittently. Most of all, we try to ignore the waiting.
We think about the birthmother who will someday make our dreams come true. We silently send her strength and love, while we keep her in our hearts. We wait.
Our inbox remains empty and the phone hasn't rung until this week. I was in the middle of interviewing a new employee and couldn't take the call or listen to the message. Once in the car, my shaky hand touched 'listen' and I put the phone to my ear. Wrong number. Sigh.
It's hard to not get discouraged, but I'm taking that first telephone ring and a few other happenings this week to mean that we're ever closer to being Moms.
I spend the majority of my days outside without much distraction. I take many walks a day observing nature mostly. I regularly see bunny rabbits, deer, hawks, snakes, birds of all types and the occasional Great Blue Heron standing in a stream. I'm always struck by their majesty and their resemblance to the baby-toting Storks.
Yesterday while driving up the on ramp to get on the highway, a Great Blue Heron flew up the embankment and kept perfect pace with my car. It didn't soar upward, but stayed low while I watched it through my passenger window. It was remarkable and gave me such a joyful moment, I thought about it all night.
This morning I received a text from our dear friends Sally & Amy wondering if they could swing by with a gift. Um, yeah!! I went out front to chat with my neighbor Abby and her daughter Pearl, and wait for our friends to show up. We were talking washer/dryer options while Pearl dazzled us with her jump roping skills, when a Great Blue Heron went flying up the street! For those of you that don't know, we live in a populated neighborhood and Herons flying up the street is not even close to ordinary.
I was looking up the spiritual significance of the Heron on my iPhone when Sally & Amy pulled up with our surprise. They know of a woman in Florida that makes one-of-a-kind baby blankets. Prior to making the blanket the woman asks for a bit of info about the family and the sex of the baby, if known. Once she has those basics she creates a blanket with each family in mind, allowing the right colors to 'speak' to her. Sally & Amy explained to me that they shared our dreams of becoming Moms and how our future baby will become ours.
Along with a card that touched and warmed our hearts, there was a gorgeous baby blanket. Soft and stunningly crafted in brilliant shades of blues and greys, just like that Storky-looking Heron.
