We've spent so much time trying to paint a picture of the type of life we lead, the home we'll provide and the parents we will be. Through carefully chosen words (but not too many, because there are limits) and the best pictures we had on hand, we put together our profile. We hope that all that we are, all we envision and everything we are still destined to become, is visible in those pages. We worry that a birthmom won't be able to see 'us', the real us - not just those words and photos.
Part of blogging, and facebooking and pinteresting, is us trying to round out that profile. To fill in gaps. To be more us.
Sitting home on this cold, rainy eve staring down a big birthday this weekend, I'm again thinking about 'when' and allowing myself to dream a bit. Not too much, just simple things. If we had a child tonight, there would be soup simmering on the stove. We'd be making something silly with paint and making a mess of our big wooden dining room table. Music would be filling the house and we'd sing and take dance breaks. We'd eat and talk and laugh. After dinner there would be a bath and then we'd all cuddle up in our PJ's and read silly stories.
And we wait for 'when.'